Stilettos, Diapers, & Cupcakes...oh my!

Speeding on the interstate and you pass a state trooper...it's too late to hit the brakes, yet you're still hoping the state trooper wasn't clocking you. You see the lights cut on and the trooper is right behind you...oh my!

Seeing the second line on the pregnancy test was the same feeling. I was finally free, no diapers, no pull ups, no bottles, no sleepless nights, and 7 years later this extra line on the pregnancy test...oh my! My baby is 7 years old and extremely independent. I'm finally "together" and I'm scared as hell. Which to some is a rational response. Considering the fact that I was pregnant at 18 years old and wasn't scared, then again at 20 years old and wasn't scared. Now at 28 with a career, college degrees, and viewed as "successful" by others, I'm scared as hell. I'm sure I said that already, but I mean it. At 18 and 20, I still wore sneakers and flats, had no concerns about my weight, had no routines, I just lived life-and the minors just fit in nicely. Well...I have a closet full of stilettos, short dresses, dry clean only materials, a work out schedule, two demanding minors, and now Pumpkin. All of this may seem extremely selfish, and that's fine, but it's my true raw feelings. I love Pumpkin, but I'm sure going to miss my cupcakes and stilettos!

I think about the type of parent I am, and how I'd like to rear Pumpkin. Attachment...crunchy...baby wearing. Mind you, I did not do any of that with the minors and I'd like to think they have turned out well, but we did grow up together. 5" heels and an Ergo...I haven't seen it yet, but I might can pull it off. This is our journey...